How to Be Happier

So, it has been a very long time since I last posted on "This Is Me."  About a year ago was the last time I wrote an article for my blog, and I cannot believe how much that amount of time can literally change one's life.  I have a four month old baby for one and have now transitioned into the multiple children family status.  I also learned a lot about myself, my life, and my views of the world.  There were so many topics I could have written about upon my return to the blogging world, but this is what I chose:  How to Be Happy!

My degree is in Psychology, and I love the study of human behavior; however, I always had one complaint about this particular area of social sciences:  Most of the focus is on what is wrong with individuals and all the disorders that affect people.  There is so much more to our lives than what we need to fix about ourselves, and we should think about being happy as we are and with what we have.

This past year I took a hiatus from my blog and went through some life changing events.  Emotionally, all of these experiences were different, some good and some bad.  There are some very tragic parts of my life that never seem to completely resolve, and I am constantly needing to figure out ways to deal based on my current situation.  However, I am a very happy and positive person.  My life is well balanced, and I enjoy myself every day.  I often wonder, what is it about me that allows for happiness as a general and abundant feeling throughout my adult life?  If I were a drug addict or an alcoholic, I could very well use my circumstances as an excuse, and I am certain everyone would forgive my actions based on causation.

My own personal experiences led me to believe that happiness is mostly choice.  I do understand and know that tragic circumstances cause stress and unhappy feelings, we are human beings with an array of emotions.  I am describing a general feeling of happiness as an overall affect.

So, this blog is to everyone reading who wonders how to be happier.

1.  Have an emotional outlet ready and available somewhere in your home.
I have a jigsaw puzzle set out on a card table in the corner of my dining room.  Whenever the stresses are high, rather than immediately react, I zone out for one minute and concentrate on my puzzle.  When that minute is over, I return to the situation.  By then I am calmer, the situation is calmer, and everything seems less intense.  Whatever you choose as the outlet, whether it be a magazine, puzzle, or calming music; leave it somewhere in sight and easily accessible.
2.  Do some sort of physical activity every day.  
I know that you have read this a million times in every article, but I live by it.  Whatever it is that you enjoy physically, set aside time each day to do it.  Walking, dancing, gardening, kickboxing, yoga, tennis, and so on are vital to mood stability, overall health, and for personal pleasure and feelings of accomplishment.
3.  Eat a balanced diet.
Yes, again, I know you know.  But I cannot stress how much different it feels to eat a well balanced diet full of nutritious foods over a meal plan consisting of fast foods, processed foods, or omitting food groups.
4.  Make time to do what you love.
Our day to day lives get super busy, and it is difficult to find time to do what you need to do let alone partake in pleasurable activities.  Yet, you only live once.  When else do you plan on reading a good book, playing a game with your friend, or enjoying a good bottle of wine?  Make time at least once a week to do something just for fun.
5.  Focus on the positive.
The other day I told my husband that that particular day home with the two kids was exactly like a comedic movie on parenting, except that in real life it was not that funny.  Although my day was filled with ridiculous episodes, I had pleasurable moments.  Those are the moments I CHOSE to take with me at the end of that day.
6.  Surround yourself with people who make you feel good.
This one is a bit complex, being that you do not always have complete control over the people you need to interact with on a day to day basis.  Yet, I make a very big effort to spend my time with people who have a positive impact on me.  I focus my close relationships on those who do not add stress to my life, and when I converse with these people, I leave the conversation feeling good.

So, yes, to some degree, being a happy person takes some effort.  You need to figure out things in each of the above categories that apply to you personally, then attempt to add/remove things from your life.  I suggest these ideas because I live by them, and they help me create happy and enjoyable days for myself.  I hope you can take something out of this entry and use it to make your own life happier!

Why I Will Raise My Daughter A Mets Fan

I grew up watching the NY Mets with my dad, and going to Shea Stadium was a regular family outing.  We used to sit way up in the top bleachers, and I was as loud as the beer belly man sitting next to us.  When we went to the game, we saw players who are still talked about today; Strawberry, Cohen, Gooden, and Darling.  We wore cones on our heads, and did the wave as an enthusiastic crowd.

To say that I am a "die-hard Mets fan" is somewhat of an understatement.  I love baseball, the dirty dogs, the home run apple, and the corny chants we engage in while drinking overpriced beer.  I get low spirited when the Mets lose, and over the top happy when they win.  I once put a hole in my bedroom wall when the NY team won the National League Championship. I do not think baseball is boring like many people claim, and every game matters to me, even though they play every day.

This past Father's Day, my husband and I brought our daughter to Citi Field for her first live Mets game.  I was overjoyed with sentiment as I watched her eat ice cream out of a blue plastic helmet.  I spent a little too much time dressing her up in  my 1986 Mets shirt, and fitting my modern pink cap on her little head.  The anticipation to start time made me feel like I was a kid again.

As we sat in our seats in the bleachers, behind home plate, I could not help feeling nostalgic.  I wanted to show her the big apple that rises from a top hat when a Met hits a home run.  I brought her Mets ABC book so that I could point out all the pictures she had only seen on TV and paper.  I hoped that this would be a regular part of her childhood, so I could instill the same love I have for baseball to my daughter.

Citi Field is different than the Shea Stadium NY used to play in, and going to a baseball game is different in 2013.  The seats are more expensive, as is everything else in the arena.  There aren't as many beer bellied men with their butt cracks hanging out of their jeans.  We did not do the wave while we watched the Mets play the Chicago Cubs.  You can buy fillet minion sandwiches and sushi along with your cracker jacks and hot dog.

Although there are anomalies at today's game that did not exist 30 years ago, there were also some things that I hope will never change.  There were fans of both genders and every age wearing all kinds of Mets gear.  We sang "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch, and Mr. Met is still our beloved mascot.  The people in the stands had the heart of NY Met fans, cheering for the good plays, and booing for the bad.

I guess some of you want to know why I have the desire for my daughter to grow up a Mets fan; I have the choice to show her a team that wins more often, like the Yankees.  However, I do not have the love for any other team, and therefore, the heart behind it is not genuine.  I am a die hard Mets fan, I love the struggle they go through year after year, it gives a bigger sense of accomplishment when they win.  To me, the Mets give off a feeling of belonging to a team, win or lose.

The Queens, NY team play as a uniform baseball team, not like individual ball players only there for their own baseball stats.  We have the 1986 team, which is of no comparison in baseball.  We have coneheads and Mookie Wilson.  The best home run hitting catcher in baseball, Mike Piazza, was our all-star.  There is a big, red apple that signifies a home run, and of course the seven train to bring us to the field.

Mets fans are the best.  We stick by our team, whether we are having a good or bad season; we don't just show up when it is convenient.  Fans of the Mets remember the good times, and watch baseball because it is a game of heart.  We chant, we cry, and we punch holes in our bedroom walls.

Being a mother is a gift I treasure,

 the importance of lifework I cannot measure.

 Teaching the values and morals I believe in,

 hoping she can form her own system of reason. 

Growing and changing,

 improving herself,

 loving her body and enjoying good health. 

Being kind and forgiving,

yet not before self. 

Shaping a person that can be courageous,

 standing up for ideas,

to believe in oneself. 

To encourage dreams and the ethics of work,

to support all their faults as much as it hurts. 

To help them stand up when it’s easier to fall,

 to take a step back,

 but be there if they call. 

To watch from afar,

yet be by their side,

 to tell them you’re proud as long as they try.

Celebrate accomplishments, and learn from failures,

to take the lessons from mistakes,

to stay out of danger. 

To first learn to love and try not to hate,

 to see all the good,

to try and relate. 

To lead by example,

to learn from each other,

to take the high road because I am the mother. 

Love her entirely without any reserve;

give her the respect and life she deserves. 

Make sure she knows how proud I am;

tell her I love her as much as I can.

Creamy Pasta without the Cream

This is a go to recipe for me when I want to eat pasta without red sauce.  I am not the hugest fan of heavy cream sauces like Alfredo, however, I am not always in the mood for a tomato based sauce either.  This recipe is nice because it makes you think you are eating cream sauce, but there is no added fat to this dish, so dig in!  As an added bonus, you only need one pan.

2-3 cloves of garlic, sliced
2 Tbls olive oil
1 tsp dried oregano
one chopped red bell pepper
about 4 cups of hot chicken broth  ( I put a carton of broth in a bowl and microwave)
one can of white beans, rinsed and drained
one box of angel hair pasta
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

In a very large skillet, heat olive oil.  Add garlic and oregano.  Cook for about 30 seconds. Add the bell pepper, and saute until tender, about 3 minutes. Put the angel hair pasta in the skillet, and toast for about 3 minutes.  You need to move the pasta around a little while toasting.  Add two ladles of hot broth to the skillet, and stir the pasta.  Once the liquid has absorbed, add one ladle of broth.  Let the liquid absorb again, and add one ladle of broth.  Continue this process, adding one ladle of broth, stirring the pasta, and adding more broth once the previous liquid is gone.   Do this until the pasta is cooked, it takes about 10 minutes.  Last, add the beans, salt, pepper, and cheese.  Stir once more and serve.

Let me know what you think of this one after you try it!

Love

My blog is mostly recipes, some useful parenting advice, and money saving tips.  I am an educated stay at home mom who likes to share information, and blogging is my means.  Though I usually write about the aforementioned categories, every once in a while I like to write freely.  My writing roots began in poetry, and I often find myself going back there.  I also proclaim to be a chick flick junkie, and flowers and candlelight dinners are a guilty pleasure.  Today, I wrote the following non-rhyming poem for pure pleasure:

Love is an overwhelmingly amazing emotion.
It includes so much,
to fully describe it is near impossible.
With love comes enormous strength,
but also a deep weakness.
Love makes one blissfully happy,
yet incredibly sad.
With love one can be elated and carefree,
or sick with worry.
An all encompassing feeling,
it can make you do things you never dreamed possible.
Love is not easy;
it opens the heart to every hope, dream, fear, and truth.
It leads to self discovery, awareness, and improvement.
Shaping who you are,
and learning who you are not.
Love is very different for everyone,
yet so simply similar.
It is silly and serious, calm and excited, loud and serene.
Creating boundaries,
and setting one free.
Love is finding the best in yourself,
and showing it to others.
Blind and also sighted,
it sees parts no one knew existed.
Love takes courage, beauty, and honor.
Love is all.

Garlicky Pearl Cous Cous with Chicken, Broccoli, and Tomatoes

I made this scrumptious dinner last night, and simply had to post.  I used one pan, and it came together in 30 minutes.  It fed my hungry husband, myself, and daughter; and there were lunch leftovers!

One box of Near East pearl cous-cous
5 cloves of garlic sliced
one 14 oz can of reduced sodium chicken broth
1/2 cup of water
one small yellow onion chopped
one cup of chopped brocoli
1/2 pint of grape tomatoes cut in half
1/2 of a red pepper cut into bite sized pieces
3 thin chicken cutlets
2 Tbls olive oil
montreal chicken seasoning
2 Tbls fresh parsley chopped

Heat a large non stick saute pan over medium high heat.  Add oil.  Season the chicken on both sides with Montreal seasoning.  Once oil is hot, add the cutlets, and brown on each side for about two minutes.  Reduce heat to low, and cover pan.  Cook chicken for about four minutes per side, or until done.

Remove chicken, cut into bite sized pieces, and keep warm.  Add olive oil to pan, and bring heat back up to medium.  Add the onion, and saute for about 2 minutes.  Add the peppers and broccoli, and saute for about 5 minutes.  Add the chicken broth, water, cous-cous, and garlic, cover, and bring to a boil.  Once boiling, uncover, reduce heat slightly, and let boil lightly for about 12 minutes, or until most of the liquid is absorbed.  Add the chicken, tomatoes, and parsley, and mix.

Tips to make this a true 30 minute meal:

While the chicken is cooking, cut the onion, broccoli and pepper.
While the veggies are sauteing, slice the garlic, tomatoes, and parsley.
While the water is boiling, cut chicken.

Corn Salad

I make this salad for many pot luck occasions.  It is so yummy, the dish is always eaten up!  The ingredients can be changed to suit your taste, and it is an affordable side dish when you have to serve many people.

Used as a side dish, this serves about 10 adults:

2 packages of frozen corn
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
2 stalks of celery, minced
1/4 cup or so of red onion chopped finely

Dressing:
1/4 cup of red wine vinegar
1/8 cup olive oil
2 Tbls Dijon mustard
salt and pepper to taste
1/3 cup of chopped fresh parsley

Defrost corn, or cook according to package directions and let cool.  Combine the corn, bell pepper, celery, beans, and onion in a large bowl.

In a separate bowl, combine the vinegar, mustard, parsley, salt, and pepper.  Mix well. While stirring, slowly stream in the olive oil.  

Pour dressing over vegetable mixture, and gently mix.

The vegetables can vary depending on individual taste.  For example, you can replace the peppers and celery with tomatoes and scallions, omitting the red onion.  The parsley can be swapped with oregano, and honey can be added to the dressing for a sweeter twist.