Monday, October 20, 2014

Sleep Deprivation: My Own Realizations

Really, really, my baby does not like to sleep.  She is six and a half months old, and on a typical night she wakes up about five times.  I cannot let her "cry it out" because I feel bad, but also because of the fact that my older daughter is in the same room; she gets woken up after two minutes of baby screams.  Rubbing her back, shaking her booty, and gently stroking her nose and forehead do nothing for my little one, believe me I have tried that and more.  I have no idea how to get my infant to sleep through the night; I am pretty sure she just hates sleep.  I am the one who wakes up with her most of the time, and I am beyond tired.  At this point there are no words to describe the amount I crave uninterrupted shut-eye.

But, there is a silver lining here, and that is why I am writing this blog tonight.  I have come to many realizations over the past few weeks that I need to share.  They are remarkable.

1.  Sleep deprivation directly effects brain cell function.  The other night I was driving home with the two girls in the back seat.  It was raining; I am not the biggest fan of driving while precipitating.  For some ridiculous reason I thought that if I put my sunglasses on I would be able to see better.  After fitting my face with my glasses, I started to look at the road and wonder why it was SO dark.  Did they forget to turn on the streetlights?  Is there a power outage?  Is this some new money saving idea from the department of transportation?  Ah, and then, after about three miles, I realize....I AM WEARING MY SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT!

2.  Lack of sleep causes hallucinations.  In the middle of the night a few days back, my husband got out of bed to use the bathroom. When my 5'11" husband was at the doorway to our bedroom I looked over at him and he looked like a giant.  Seriously, like a giant from a sci-fi movie.  At that moment, I thought (no joke) that no one will ever mess with me, my husband is a freakin' giant!

3.  When your body is not getting the proper rest, it goes numb and resembles a sort of gumby like character.  I notice this when I go to my Jazzercise of Clinton class to get my workout.  Sometimes I am nervous attending my fitness class because I think, how will I be coordinated enough to follow the instructor when I can hardly focus on making breakfast?  Turns out though, my body actually turns to a sort of clay like device.  Somehow, I am more flexible when I do not sleep...go figure!

4.  I am ALWAYS hungry because I am ALWAYS awake.  I get to eat all the time since I am never lying down and in effect calories are bonus to a foodie :)

5.  The very best way to stay awake during periods of sleepiness is to pretend you are sleeping in front of your young children.  My almost four year old HATES to see me relax in any way, shape, or form.  Never mind the fact that she LOVES fantasy play; that game is simply not fun when the fantasy involves me pretending to sleep.

6.  The very worst thing you can do during episodes of sleep deprivation is get one full night of sleep. This will only cause further exhaustion.  Do not attempt.  Rather than being thankful for the one night of uninterrupted sleep, your body will totally hate you for the cruel joke you played.  Everyone knows you will not get a second night directly following the first night of sleep.  Do not confuse your body.  It has to be one or the either sleep every night or never.

No comments:

Post a Comment